Hi, my name is Brenda. My story is for all of you out there who aren’t quite sure what
happened to you. You’ve always tried to figure out why you were the black sheep of the family
and why you made so many wrong choices. You see, I was never molested as a child, I wasn’t
beaten physically or verbally or emotionally. My parents didn’t withhold love from me, and we
weren’t poor. I had one set of parents who are still married to this day and two sets of
grandparents. I wasn’t the middle child or an only child. We didn’t live in a big city where I was
afraid to walk to school, there were no guns, knifes, or drugs there either. (I’m not saying that
a few kids didn’t do drugs in high school, but you never saw people standing on the street
corner selling them.) I lived on a small acreage just outside the city limits and had the ideal
childhood. So why then when I got to high school did I chase after the boy that would get me
in the most trouble and start drinking to the point that it eventually over took my life? One
thing and one thing only, I didn’t have a personal relationship with the living God!

My parents didn’t and still to this day don’t know my Saviour, but my grandma took me to
church when I was young and I grew up knowing that there was a God, that Jesus died for
me, and that He was good. I went to youth group during my Junior High years (referred to as
middle school these days). It was a great place to have fun with my friends and be entertained
but not much of God ever happened. I do remember a few experiences that I now know were
God busting in to my life but at the time no one else seemed to know they were Him and didn’t
show me how to build on them. I was baptized at around the age of 14. I remember standing
up there in front of the congregation waiting for my turn to be dunked and feeling a strange
and wonderful excitement and thinking I really do belong to Jesus. Of course I have come to
know that wonderful feeling as the presence of God. Another time our youth group leader
took me and two other girls to a concert. I can’t tell you who we saw or much about the whole
thing except the people were talking in a strange language. One of my friends started talking
right along with them, I asked her repeatedly after word how she knew what they were saying
but she said she didn’t know. I had never heard of speaking in tongues before and never
heard of it again until I was 34 and turned my life over to Jesus. The last experience of my
teenage years I remember with God was when we went to another church to help set up a
retreat. One night around the campfire I heard some teenagers from another church reading
from the bible and talking about God. I knew in my heart they had something I didn’t but I had
no idea how to get it.

As I entered my high school years the devil must have sensed that I had a hunger for God
because it was at that point everything went down hill. My mom and I were on shaky ground
and seemed to disagree on everything. My dad worked a lot and not having the Spirit of God
to show mom how to raise me, our relationship disintegrated. I found a boy who I knew would
drive her completely crazy and at 16 I lied to her telling her I was pregnant so I could marry
him. We did get married; he was 18 and still lived with his parents so I moved in there too. I
was instantly thrown into a world I didn’t even know existed. Drunken parties every weekend,
people cheating on each other right in their own homes, lies and bar room fights, it wasn’t
exactly what I expected but by this time I had started drinking and thought I was having the
time of my life. No rules, no regulations, and no one telling me what I could or should or
couldn’t do. For the next 11 years I rode that roller coaster of partying and cheating, leaving
my husband several times but always going back to him. We had a son during this time and
he and I became very close. There finally came a point when I decided I wanted to grow up, I
was only 27 but I was tired. Tired of staying up all night many, many nights wondering where
he was and who he was with. Tired of being the one who didn’t come home making him
wonder where I was and who I was with. So I finally, once and for all, left and didn’t go back,
problem was I took all the distrust and all that way of thinking that no one could be faithful
with me. I hadn’t completely stopped drinking at this point either, I thought it was good
enough to just slow down and only drink a couple of times a month. I found another man who
wasn’t any thing like my first husband. Poor guy didn’t have a chance from the start. I was so
messed up by now he couldn’t have done anything to please me. So after 6 years I got
divorced again, adding more distrust and baggage on my already sagging back. Then along
came husband number three. After only a few months of marriage we were falling apart. Him
and my son (who was now 14) didn’t get along at all. After several months of fighting my son
decided to move in with his dad, leaving me with a new awful feeling, I was a terrible mother. I
started into a major depression (I know this because I had already had one between my last
two husbands). My husband and I started talking about going to church, as he had known
God when he was younger also. His mother knew the Lord and stopped by to talk to us one
day and invited us to a service the next Friday night. That night was the death of me and the
birth and beginning of a new life inside my body. These people danced and sang and
worshipped and prophesied and generally loved God. My husband and I both received words
from the prophetic team and went home on cloud nine. As I look back now it amazes me how
after that night I had zero signs of depression. It was just gone. Poof. A few weeks later I was
filled with the Spirit and started speaking in tongues (I didn’t know it but my husband had
done this when he was 16).

It will be 9 years this July 2007 since we gave our lives over to God. He has taken away my
mistrust of men, He has given my husband and I a great relationship, He has taken all the
spirits of lust out of me, He has given me friends that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the
world, He has given me promises for the future of a destiny that I wouldn’t even have dreamed
possible, I’m no longer angry at my mom, He’s brought us through money issues, there is so
much I can’t even begin to tell it all. He has become the center of my universe. He is a
magnificent, awesome, loving, caring, faithful, fantastic, wonderful God. One of the greatest
things He ever told me was this: One morning early in my walk during a church service He
had the worship leader sing a song just to me. He said our relationship (God’s and mine) had
been put on a shelf for a while. As I have thought about that through the years I have realized
what an amazing, forgiving God He is. I had whored around on Him for all those years
chasing other lesser gods (alcohol, men, money, etc.) and all He says is our relationship has
been put on a shelf for a while. He didn’t say YOU TRAMP, what makes you think you can
come back and serve Me now? He said it’s been on the shelf for a while. Any of you seen
compassion like that before? That was it I was hooked, in love, and ready to hand my life back
to Him.

Now it hasn’t all been easy and I still have a lot to learn but I serve an awesome, loving,
forgiving, able to change me God and He wants to do the same for you. Anybody reading this
story can have what I found, you just have to find Him and decide He is the one. My hearts cry
is to help every person I meet know that God can and will change the hurts of your heart and
make something wonderful out of you. He wants to fix your marriage, your addiction, your
children, your money; He wants to make you whole. Why not give Him a chance?
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