Vulnerable

A few weeks ago I wrote you about a deliverance I went through. I was delivered from what I
call a Jezebel spirit. Controlling and overbearing, this spirit always made me come across as
arrogant (something of course I didn’t realize until after I was delivered from it). I always
thought arrogant meant someone who made people bow at their feet and worship them and
of course my goal was always to have people bow at Jesus’ feet so this didn’t really
describe me. Oh how deceived we can be. My heart really was always to get people to Jesus
but my method for them was to take the route I had planned out for them.

Webster’s definition of Arrogance-offensive display of superiority or self-importance;
overbearing pride; haughtiness
Haughty-disdainfully proud; snobbish; arrogant

I would become offensive because I always believed that I knew the best way for every
person to get to Jesus’ feet. My way became not only the superior way but in my mind the
only way. I would then get irritated when I would shove my advice down their throats only to
find out later they went ahead and did it their own way. Those traders, how dare they have
another plan for their lives. Didn’t they know that I hear God for them? Didn’t’ they know my
way was the right way?

The other day a very, very dear person in my life said to me in a very loving way, “You used
to come across as opinionated. You made it sound like your way was the only way. Now
when you give advice there’s compassion with it.”

Had she said this to me before, I would have taken it as a compliment. I always liked being
opinionated; it set me apart from the crowd. It made me my own woman. Ooops? Am I
supposed to be my own woman or belong to Another?

I want, right now, to give you a heads up on being delivered. People will tell you I was
delivered from that spirit and it hasn’t been a problem since. Well, that may be true (although
I think we are still visited by those spirits to see if they can come back, they just don’t have
the same hold on us they did before if we’re filling that spot with Jesus) but once that spirit is
gone, especially if we had it most of our life, we have to learn a whole new life style. Old
things are passed away and all things become new. We now have to learn a new way to deal
with people, a new way to love them, a new way to talk to them, a new way to keep our
mouth shut, we have to open our mind to the possibility that they may know the best way to
follow God for themselves. It’s not the easiest road you’ll ever travel. You will now see
yourself the way God and everyone around you has for years. It may not be pretty but
wouldn’t you rather find out and deal with it now than go through your whole life wondering
why you keep driving people away? Wondering why you never quite feel fulfilled?

Romans 5:5-8, " …the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy
Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for
the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man
someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

The Love of God has "already been" poured out within our hearts because the Holy Spirit
Himself dwells within. When Christ died for us, it was the utmost "demonstration" of God's
love toward us so that we could also be the utmost "demonstration" of Love to all men,
godly or not. Love comes with no conditions and no guarantee it will be reciprocated. Love
is the most vulnerable place we can walk because you cannot control nor contain it. God
could not control nor contain His love when He gave us the most vulnerable place of His
heart: Jesus! (From the Elijah list February 14, 2008 Julie Smith:"The Greatest Destiny of a
Man is the DESTINY OF A LOVER" http://www.elijahlist.com:80/words/html/textonly-021408-
smith.html)

Vulnerable-1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt physically or emotionally 2.
susceptible to temptation or corrupt influence 3. open to or defenseless against criticism or
moral attack 4. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend

Here’s my theory. We allow Jezebel to come in and take control because at some point in
our lives we were vulnerable and someone hurt us badly. We didn’t know God, we didn’t
know how to deal with it, and we let Jezebel take control and hide the hurt under layers of
control. We decided that we would no longer be vulnerable, susceptible to woundings, or
open to criticism. We would hide behind our control and look out for ourselves. We then
become lonely and unfulfilled and began looking for something to make us happy again. We
find Jesus. Good. Things are looking up. He’s telling us things we want to hear. We can be
healed, we can be freed, and we can be loved. Then he says but first you have to take down
the wall Jezebel has built to protect you. You have to stop looking at yourself and begin to
die for others. No greater love has a man than to die for his friends. Greater love, that’s what
we wanted but did we want to die for it? Do we want to take the chance at being vulnerable
again? Being hurt again? Sorry to say it girls, but being vulnerable is the only way to love
and be loved again. We must open ourselves up again. The good news is this time we’re not
alone. This time we’re on God’s team. He can lead us and show us which way to go and not
to go. He can heal the hurts and believe it or not the hurts are never as bad when He’s in
them with you. In fact I haven’t been to that completely devastated place in years. I still have
tribulations and trials and things don’t go as planned a lot, I sometimes get down and cry but
those things just don’t devastate me like they used to. They don’t have the same hold on me
they did.

The idea I’m trying to convey here is that getting back to that place of loving and being loved
means becoming vulnerable again. It means opening up to the fact that we may not have all
the answers for everyone around us. They need to have their own relationship with God. It
means many times keeping our mouths shut when we don’t want to. It means sometimes
opening our mouths and speaking God’s words instead of our own. It means dying to being
in control of everything and everyone around us. It means dying to self even when the
people we are doing it for are still sinners and don’t seem to care. It means being open to the
possibility that we may get hurt in the process but knowing that whatever happens God is
our exceedingly great Reward!

I’m going to leave you with 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter). I always hear people using
these scriptures to define love but they always want to be on the receiving end of them. This
time as we read them let’s look at being on the giving end.

1 If I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that
reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God's love for and in us), I am
only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

2 And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and
understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have
[sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I am
nothing (a useless nobody).

3 Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to
be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God's love in me), I gain nothing.

4 Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with
jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

5 It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does
not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own
way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the
evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].

6 It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth
prevail.

7 Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best
of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything
[without weakening].

8 Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for
prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away;
as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will
lose its value and be superseded by truth]. (Amplified bible)

Father, today as we go about our days, let us remember to love those around us. Let us die
to ourselves and our wants and do and say what’s needed for the ones we live with day in
and day out. Let us not be afraid to be vulnerable and open. Father, we no longer want to
control people but we want to put them in Your Hands. Only You know what’s best for
everyone. We want to be obedient to speak to them when You have words of wisdom for
them and we want to be quiet when it's just our flesh feeling unwanted and unappreciated.
Today Lord, we give up the control of our lives and our loved ones to You. You alone are
Lord!
This site is best viewed using Microsoft Internet Explorer.
About Us
FREE Email Newsletter
Privacy Policy
There are NO pop-up ads originating from our website.
Jezebel Page 3
January 17, 2008
Page Two